tell me what happened

number 1 'Groups:Meetings'
in the room is Phoebe Robinson, Shelley Lasica, Laura Levitus, Gretel Taylor and me, or A, B, C, D, E in no particular order.

some of the conversation......
B: "Tell me what you did!"
E: "...showing the shitty bits. Through showing it, something changes what I do. There are two things going on at the same time. The messy or the shitty bits and how I make decisions about what I throw away, through talking about it, it might change. I did not know how interesting this would be for other people, really.... We can do something else, we don't have to talk about IT... I did not want to lead this, we can see how it goes each week. Also, if you want to bring something that you are interested in."
D: "The headphones and then the beautiful operatic music. Could you hear that?"
E: "I was listening to pop songs and thinking how you sustain something for a length of time and with other stuff, maybe I do not."
D: "I thought of the ABC TV show that is something to do with cardio exercise to Vivaldi."
B: "....certain music gives you momentum and it's not necessarily how you want the piece to be seen."
C: "I liked how you...."
B: "What were you listening to?"
E: "Shostakovich. I read the CD cover. Maybe I liked it because of the story first, rather than the music. It's dramatic!"
D: "...repetition, a matter-of-factness"
E: "...thinking about the performance. It's not a performance. How do you present yourself?"
B: "...making a rehearsal, performing it- what are the differences between those? The perceptual..you can trick yourself to think about these things in different ways. How can you trick yourself to be present?....The showing obsession."
E: "but still there is a shift in how...."
B: "have everyone here all the time."
E: " but then it already shifts."
C: "I instantly made that shift because of the earphones. That is was already yesterday."
E: "That she was already there."
C: "I could see the physical distance having the earphones as the indicator."
B: "separation."
C: "She was separated from us."
D: "The music is for 'us'."
B: "...the awareness of a performative moment does not necessarily mean that it's not constructed. Something can be quite constructed and intentional without being performative but they are not the same thing..... there are different layers of these things... The intention of making it happen as it's happening not the recreation of a moment."
C: "there was an organisational aspect. It was organised. You organised yourself. You knew exactly where you were- there were invisible walls."
D: "...watching movement from the front and then from the back."
A: "You were in something else- I had imposed my story onto you. The idea of you 'conducting'. I had to be aware that it was me thinking that."
B: "That was you- you were creating that and she was just providing a variety of triggers."
D: "Bird. Trapped bird. Damaged."
E: The music immediately changed how I worked. would add drama to it."
B: "...getting pulled along by the music- the performer or the audience- it's not hard to get pulled along- we can't help it."
E: "I really could not hear it. I was in a world and that's what I wanted to play with- the idea of being in two worlds."
D: "Like a jogger- the idea of doing exercise. Dropping it and going to something else. Even the look of it."
C: "The repetition just dispersed. Then you began again. That process of dropping it became the repetition as well. It dispersed."
E: "How do you get out of something? How do you choose to leave something? Stop something?"
D: "Almost as if you could not control it. It became quite amazing."
E: "There were also questions about boredom. How bored are they? Am I bored?"
B: "The question of boredom becomes the reason for making a choice."
E: "And the music."
C: "Did you sense when you wanted to leave the repetition?"
E: "A feeling of time. The one sound cue towards the end. The others were just a time based feeling. I had a feeling of the time in relation to the movement and then in relation to the sound but there was no plan with that music- your music."
A: "It coordinated very well."
D: "How did you start?"
E: "ummmmm... I put music in my ears. It was about repetition. An idea for even sided-ness and about not doing what I had been doing. I didn't want to move a particular point, but I did. I thought of being quieter, closing off from things, thinking about another world and what people might see."
B: "The inside/internal world, do you experience it as a physical thing or as a social thing in relation to other people? Does it make a difference? Or is it a sensory thing with your own hearing. Blocking out all other noise and that alters how you're thinking."
E: "Or it's a sensory thing that leads to a social thing. You had only that (gestures to sound of room), it becomes a private thing, dancing privately....what is your training? You have all of the training and history and you choose to do something else."
B: "Perceptual?"
E: "Yeah."
B: "Altering your senses physically changes what you do and how you experience your body, for example not seeing. 'Markers' are not present, you alter how you hear and what you do...... bodywork, it affects you, changes you. It affects your experience of what you do."
D: "Working with your eyes closed....having something that close to your body then the spatial sound alters too."
B: "It does not include the sound of the space you are in."
E: "It all started when I was in this room. I changed it, made it darker, closed off the space, made it different to the room that I already knew. I had already been working for a week and a half, and I wanted to try to create another space."
B: "Making this space your own space?"
E: "That's how the use of the ipod came about."
D: "The look of it is very current.... About the showing and getting used to the idea of showing. It will not be about what you will show. The idea of product might take away from the spaciousness of having a residency?"
A: "I was alone when I was here- I did not have anyone come in."
E: "Maybe this whole idea is a bit silly."
A: "I think it's really good."
E: "I do things and I don't question them. That sound thing was purely practical but then that becomes a focus for a discussion."
A: "Someone from the outside reads more."
B: "The experiential as opposed to the 'look' of something- they don't necessarily equate.... with a residency there are two things at play- producing something or not. Allow yourself to do that. Maybe it's a 'momentum thing', to know that there are people coming in to view what you have been doing. Allow us to come in when you have not been productive."
E: "There is a certain amount of planning that goes on."
D: "This was quite planned."
E: "See I was thinking that it was not."
B: "Immediately in doing 'it' it is planned. You shouldn't not do it. Be aware of taking stuff for granted. How do you make decisions when you stop something?; how long to go for?; the order of things."
E: "The set-up and how to change it."
B: "Or do you want to change it?"
D: "It would be interesting to try not planning it. It will be interesting to see what happens next time."
A: "You could do the same thing."
E: "Knowing I have this time and the awareness that I do this performance later, much later. I am aware of that other thing. But I did set it up."
B: "Feeling pressure is okay. The 'wobble wobble' between produce/not produce. The space you have to inhabit.
D: "Something eventually happens...... What did you write in the proposal?
E: "Ah, what did I say? Two things happening- the idea of 'impersonation' which comes out of the everybodystoolbox website. The impersonation game was a way of starting this. Actually it was a cross between two games- the impersonation game and the generique game. We would talk about this thing that does not exist and through talking about it we make the performance. I was interested in other worlds by talking about them. I pretended I was the one making the sound and the composer pretended he was the one making the choreography. What it would sound like, look like, what would happen, how many screens would be in the space, the projections. So it was in some like a brainstorming session but it was also creating a fantasy world. Yeah, so I did that a couple of weeks ago with the composer. But because we had already talked about the work there was an element of safety in the discussion. We will do this again.. stories had started to emerge...................There are lots of games.....you show something, a panel impersonates you and answers your questions about the work as if they were you. In that game it has actually happened. Then there's the opinion game so you can constantly change your opinion."
D: "It was interesting coming in late and not seeing it. Already it is your perception of what you did- with some experience of what you do- your imaginings of that and what you bring to it."
E: "I was thinking of the knowledge that people already have of me."
D: "Do you feel pressure that you should continue to be the same?"
B: "Or the opposite?"
A: "It changes."
B: "The talking about something is very different to the doing."
E: "......wondering how to change that, go further, get tired, do something else, and then you can't change it."
B: "Find mechanics for altering things. And then there's a point where you are who you are, you know what you know and you don't know what you don't know."

D: "There's something about privacy. Vulnerability and strength. What are the pieces of paper?
E: "Oh they are the games." E walks over to get them. We all read.

ALL: giggle giggle

giggle

B: giggle.
E: "Which part did you laugh at?"
B: "this part, 'when played as an aftertalk, the game also functions as an encounter between audience members, they can confront their perception of the work with that of other spectators, rather than verifying their perceptions with the intentions of the author.'
E: "Then there is the self interview."
D: "A little like self assessment?"
E: "We should finish? We can play a game next time. Or, if you want to bring something..."